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Post Mortem wishes
These questions will help your friends and family the time directly after you die.
A post mortem vigil, or wake, may happen directly after death, or soon after, when your body can be seen by friends and family and others. It can last anywhere from a couple of hours and in some cultures, up to 3 days.
Do you want a post mortem vigil?
Where will the post mortem vigil be held?
How long should the post mortem vigil last?
* Who will wash you and dress you?
What would you like to be wearing? Any makeup?
* (if longer than a few hours) Who is in charge of keeping your body cool? I would suggest death doula be in charge of this part.
Do you want recorded music? Meditating? Chanting? Praying? Talking? Who may attend the post mortem vigil?
Is there anyone you do NOT want coming to your post mortem vigil?
* Please assign someone to invite people to attend the pm vigil. Do you wish to add any other requests regarding your post mortem vigil? An asterisk means you should contact this person with this request
Who is making phone calls?After you die, someone will need to make a phone call to report the death. Please ask someone to be in charge of calling the hospice organization/ funeral home/crematorium/coroner directly after death. (If you have questions about the appropriate person that needs to be called right after you die, ask your hospice nurse or death doula. )*
Who is making this phone call?
During the days following your death, you may want certain people to be notified via telephone (or email) about your death. Please request one or two people to make phone calls to those whom you want to be notified.
Who would you like making phone calls to inform people?
Who do you want called or emailed or somehow informed?
Make a list of those you want notified:
Family:
Friends:
Members of spiritual Community:
Work colleagues:
Hairdresser:
Doctors, Dentist, health care providers:
Anyone else?
Your wishes about your body
Do you wish your body to be ___ buried ___ cremated ___ otherIf you checked other, what would you like done?
Talk to your funeral home or death doula about clarifying for these questions:
Name and number of crematorium?
Name and number of funeral home?
* Who is transporting the body?
Where will you be buried?
* Who will be receiving your ashes ?
What do you wish done with your ashes?
Do you want a memorial service?
* Who is in charge of organizing your memorial service?
Where would you like the memorial service held?
Which newspapers would you like your obituary sent to?
Do you want your obituary sent anywhere else – your church; your alma mater; your facebook page; your clubs etc.?
Let your funeral director or death doula know this.
Are there details of anything above you would like to elaborate on?
Marcie Vallette